Life happened.
A LOT.
I got fatter... and lost 12lb, and gained 20, and lost 10, and gained, and lost, and gained, and lost, and gained.... etc. etc. etc. seemingly on an unending loop for the last 4 years.
I haven't been exercising consistently or much at all for a long time.
I am drinking way too much diet pop again
I have been drinking way too much alcohol
AND,
MOST IMPORTANTLY,
THAT. IS. O. K.
I am also:
Working to slowly improve all of the above.
Self employed for the first time, and pulling it off, even if it's a struggle.
Doing more of the arts and the crafts all of the time!!
Making slow but steady progress on our fixer upper.
Cooking almost every night, healthier and healthier meals.
Back to a mostly vegetarian diet (personal preference 'cause I love animals and the planet, not for weight loss)
Happy with my little home gym and don't miss a gym membership anymore.
Maintaining a clean and tidy house (NEVER been good with clutter wrangling, I suffer from bouts of anxiety and depression that can make basic chores as daunting as climbing an erupting volcano naked, and am the typical disorganized artist with all my things spread all over the house and buried in partially completed craft projects and enough cat hair to construct at least 3 new cats, historically speaking; so this is a BIG one!)
AND
Human and allowed to be perfectly imperfect.
Plus, I lost 4 lbs in the 10 days since I've been back from my visit home to California, which lit a bit of a fire under me to be in better shape because I realized how much I miss being active and outdoors more... and also because I almost died running through the Minneapolis airport for my connecting flight on the way there...
I mean, not really; don't be so dramatic.
I am dramatic enough for the both of us.
But I was forced to come face to burning lungs with the fact that I am woefully out of shape as I barely managed my little waddle-jog along approximate 487 miles of moving walkways and offered up all of the silent (aside from the heavy panting and light swearing) thank yous to whatever genius thought of those, and then arrived at my gate sweaty and out of breath and maybe dead....
Oops.
I mean, whodathunkit? Just a few years of food that's often fried and processed and mostly prepared by other people combined with a serious lack of moving my body is all it takes to not be in the great shape it took years to work up to when I was skating and playing roller derby 3-4 days a week plus cross training and making mostly healthy food choices?
You can see now why I am so surprised, I'm sure.
The nerve!
The good news is that none of this is a mystery or a secret.
As easy as it is to blame a bum knee or a rural town or a new state or being surrounded by different people, all of the choices that got me here were mine.
All of the choices that will get me to where I go next are mine too.
I just have to choose better.
