Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Proof is in the Corduroy

I have a habit, when it comes to weight loss, to setting a perfectly realistic goal, getting close to meeting it, and then basically fleeing in terror from it.

I don't know why. It's silly, really. I guess I get so freaked out about NOT managing my totally achievable goal that I sabotage it?

Who knows.

I'm a crazy person.

BUT! Weight loss goals are sometimes very sneaky. I can see the scale-based goals sneaking up on me, go crazy, and sabotage my timeline.

I never sabotage my timeline by skipping work outs, it's always with a little extra food. An extra tortilla here, some ice cream there... But while this is going on I'm still exercising like a maniac, so the inches keep creeping on down.

I measured again today and I am now up to a total of 37.75 inches lost from the places I measure.
That's pretty awesome!!

And I can even prove how different I look!! Remember way back when I made a goal to fit into a certain pair of pants by Christmas? Well I WORE those pants on Christmas!!!

The proof is in the.... er... Corduroy?

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Freestyle Rapping

I have never been "cool."

If dorkiness were a hole in the ground, and my personality was a shovel, the hole would be so deep, that if I even tried to do something cool, like become a freestyle rapper or push a baby buggy out of the way of a speeding car, to redeem myself, I'd get confused and end up digging DEEPER into the dorkiness pit because I'd be so deep into the earth that the surface would be closer on the opposite side.

See? I just inadvertently proved my own point. The first things that came to mind when trying to think of something inherently "cool" and non-dorky were
1) freestyle rapping

2)something cliche that only happens in cartoons and satirical comedies.

I'm not even the "cool" type of dorky like you see in romantic comedies.
"Oh look, her skirt got caught in a car door and now you can see her adorable cartoon character underpants!"
I'm the other kind.
I knocked over an entire DVD display in Best Buy with my butt while out shopping.
It was loud.
And dear bf, despite being 3 aisles away, knew from the noise what had happened and that I did it.

Because I'm cool like THAT.
And then I knocked over a whole DIFFERENT display in an entirely DIFFERENT store just an hour later.
With my butt.
And he still knew what happened from across the store and wasn't surprised.

Suffice it to say, coordination is NOT one of my strong points.
So when I walked into my usual gym class last night to find a guest instructor who wanted us to have a bosu, stability ball, weights, mat, jump rope, resistance band, AND had ladders laying on the ground at either end of the room... I knew I was in trouble.

But you know what? I had a GREAT time. I messed up a lot, I fell off the bosu, I laughed so hard when attempting to balance on one foot and bounce a stability ball in my non-dominant hand at the same time that I thought I was at risk of peeing my pants, I slapped myself in the face with a jump rope, you name it. It wasn't pretty, but it was still fun, and it was a fabulous work out.

It made me realize that while I've gotten pretty darn badass at the stuff I do in my regular classes, I'm maybe NOT the super cool all around bad ass that I like to think I've become.

Changing things up is GOOD, trying new things is good, and keeping my body guessing is great.
So I decided to go ahead and sign up for 20 sessions of personal training while they're having all their new year's deals.
I feel a little guilty about it. I'm a former athlete, I know my way around a gym, I know how to lift weights and use the machines and in what combinations they are effective. I don't know that a personal trainer can really teach me anything NEW, exactly, but I do think that they can challenge me in ways I'm not challenging myself, just like I was in that class last night.

I'm still a little sick to my stomach at the thought of the price, but I'm trying to convince myself that I'm really going to work hard to make it worth the cost!!

First session is on Wednesday, so I plan to take some before pictures and measurements, and see what a difference 20 sessions makes!

Wish me luck!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Not Recommended for Zombies

As my weight loss gets more and more significant and apparent, more people ask me about it.

"You've obviously lost a significant amount of weight, so what have you been doing?" It's usually another woman who asks. It started out with people I see regularly through work, but now it's extended to strangers at the gym and cashiers at the grocery and drug stores I frequent.

My answer is always the same "The common sense, old fashion way, really. More moving and better eating."

The response to this answer is ALWAYS the same, and it's getting really frustrating.

Seriously people?
I basically tell you that losing a bunch of weight is idiot proof, and that you already know how to do it, and you get disappointed?

I'm tempted to like invent a "diet" or "supplement" and just tell people it only works with the program. I guarantee you they'd suddenly be interested.

How is it that people try crash diet after crash diet after crash diet, stupid over-expensive (and sometimes dangerous) diet pills, and who knows what other crazy weight loss schemes with little to no success, and then get DISAPPOINTED when the answer is so simple?!?!?!

I guess, actually, I get it.
How many times did I try to lose weight with diet and exercise before I got it right?
I guess some people get to a place where they really don't think they can do it, that the only way it will ever come off is with a magic potion or a secret combination of foods, or something really crazy and extreme.

So here we go, just in case anyone reading this was wondering if I've been doing some super secret fad diet and keeping it from you and all for myself.

The secret:

Use your damn brain.

*Brains not recommended for zombies.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Stupid Brain!

Lately, when I'm out in the real world, I think of funny stuff all the time and think "oh hey, I should write about what a spaz I am in this situation and draw artistic representations of myself experiencing it while being shaped like a bean!"

But when I'm in front of a computer, my brain does this:

So, ummmm... I haven't been blogging.
And when I have it's been blogging ABOUT blogging, but mostly about not blogging, and I'm starting to feel like I'm in some kind of loop of lameness and being mad at my brain.

So I'm sorry!