Friday, January 13, 2012

Plant/People Hybrids are a Real and Scary Looking Possibility

Wednesday was a pretty impressive day in the land of Lulu Legume. In case braving the "manly room" and getting to be among the first to welcome a baby bro into the world and doing PULL UPS on the intimidating assisted pull up machine wasn't quite bad ass enough... I ended up going to a turbo sculpt class later that evening.

It was probably a bad plan.

I was already sore, and exhausted, and was pretty sure I was going to die or have a limb simply refuse to be my friend anymore and abandon me for putting it through such torture.

BUT I DID IT!!! The WHOLE class, and I felt awesome.
And also like really ouchy geletain.

Quickest cure for ouchy geletain (in my world)?
Eat like a WHOLE FARM in miniature.
Dear BF and I decided to go to one of our favorite local taquerias for dinner, and it's probably really awful, especially as a former vegan, but I thought it would be AWESOME to get 3 tacos, 1 chicken, 1 carne asada, 1 chile verde (pork) - soft tacos with no cheese or any of that stuff and only 1 corn tortilla, of course... I needed a good protein boost!

Feeling quite accomplished at being evil on my own scale of maniacalness, I decided to also try NEW new trainer's suggestion for the soreness: Coconut water and 30 minutes of stretching.

It doesn't quite have the same sense of world-domination, but it does seem practical...

I explained to dear BF that I needed to pop next door to the grocery store to pick up said coconut water, and when I got the expected really funny look (because I hate coconut with almost all of the hate you can hate with) I explained that I had googled it and it was full of potassium and magnesium and something called cytokinins. I told him I put a lot more faith in stretching than water made from nuts, but why not?

To which he, very maturely, responded: "Hehe, nut water."

After even funnier second look number 2, I explained that cytokinins are basically like the plant equivalent of stem cells in humans.

"And nuts, right? Nuts are good for you!!!" (snicker snicker snicker)

After letting out a spazzy laugh at the nut jokes, I explained that some people apparently think that this will help muscles repair faster, but I think that's silly. I am not a plant. A plant stem cell is not going to encourage my human cells to repair themselves any faster. That's retarded. But I do know that our cells are HUGE fans of potassium, and that coconut water is a lot less calories and carbs than a banana, so why not?

Then dear bf dropped the bomb. "If comic books and horror movies have taught me anything, it's that plant/people hybrids are a very real and scary looking possibility. Better be careful with your NUT WATER!!" (more snickering)

I simply laughed at the further nut jokes, and took the opportunity to dance down the beverage aisle singing about my new coconut water purchase.

But then I got to thinking...
What if I DID become a comic book style super villain legume person / coconut hybrid?

If I'm going to have to wear a spandex unitard I better keep working out and watching what I eat...

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I love your blog! I have read the last several posts and have just been cracking up! Fantastic!