I love you, I really do, but I'm not IN love with you, if you know what I mean.
No, no, hush. Don't argue, I need to finish.
I need... a break.
It's not me, it's you.
Now, I can't thank you enough for all that you've done for me. From the first moment I moved to a town with one of your chains I couldn't get enough of you. A giant tortilla with all the fixins? How could I resist your charms?
Our love affair was intoxicating, your local fresh ingredients lured me back again and again and lulled me into a false sense of security.
How was I to know a burrito the way I like it was well over 1000 calories? It all seemed so good for me!
When Sparkpeople turned me on to checking your nutrition facts...
Now now, Chipotle, don't blame Sparkpeople. It's not their fault. I would have learned of your sneaky ways eventually.... Maybe not until California law forced you to put calories up on the big board where they can't be ignored, but I would have learned!
Quiet! I'm not finished!
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap, but I just really need to get this all out on the table... or the counter along the windows with the stools where I like to sit and people watch while I munch and read.
LikED. Past tense. Now.
No really, I mean it. I've done everything I can to try and work with you and keep you as a major part of my life. I visit you 2-4 times a week! But no matter how carefully I ordered, how willing I am to compromise, bowls instead of burritos, salads instead of bowls, you name it! I'm just not getting what I need from you.
Sure, I get a really delicious lunch made with real food, but why do you have to drown it in SO much sodium? Why are your friendly employees oh so willing to scoop in too much of that white rice (which is basically just like shoveling sugar straight into my body, by the way. I hear some Chipotle's have brown rice, why not mine?) or whatever I like onto my bowl when they see me? Why does your guacamole have to be so delicious?
I'm just powerless against it!!
I do appreciate all your support in a difficult transition period. It was really hard to give up all you can eat pizza buffet, sit down lunches at all the various local cafe's, diners, and burger joints. You were there for me with a much better option that was still delicious and easy during a really hard time.
But I've grown, I've learned, I'm moving on to bigger (well, probably smaller) and better things.
So that's it. It's final. NO MORE CHIPOTLE ON MY LUNCHES.
I may still see you once in a while with friends before a movie. In a pinch on the road for dinner.
I'm not saying never. I try to never say never.
But no more lunches. And not at ALL until at least September.
If I see you before then it would just be too hard, your pull too strong, your flavors too tempting!
I know, I hate goodbye's too.
Let's just say:
"See you 'round."
See you 'round, Chipotle!