Most of last year I was pretty wishy washy.
"Good" for 2 or 3 days "bad" for 2 or 3 days.
"Good" for every meal but lunch, where I'd eat enough pizza at the buffet for 5 or 6 NFL linebackers.
Basically a whole lot of months of "today is the day" in the morning and "tomorrow is the day" in the afternoons....
We've all been there, I'm sure.
Well right about this time last year I had a day or two of really positive, motivated attitude. I felt so ready to change for the better and ventured off to Whole Foods for my first or second night of super healthy dinner in months.
As I backed out of my parking space a mean, nasty lady tried to squeeze behind my car and grazed my bumper. Because there were no cameras and the damage was to the back of my car and the side of her car, there was no way to prove that it was her who hit me and not the other way around. It was my first ever accident and happened in my first ever brand new car (well, 3 year old at that point, but still brand new to me!).
So I went into about a month long emotional 'poor me' shame and junk food spiral.
Super lame.
I probably could have gotten my bumper repainted for the money I spent on pizza and chinese food!! Instead it just still has what I call "character" to this day.
About a month later, around Labor Day, I finally decided to snap out of it, reminded my self that it's just a car, and an awfully lame excuse to keep getting fatter, and again decided to do better and change and lose weight.
Again I rushed to the grocery store after work to stock up on better foods. Not Whole Foods this time, I mean, that's just tempting fate, right?
Well I didn't fare any better at Safeway. I was wearing some platform wedge dress sandals that day, and slipped on a baby carrot that was on the ground. I rolled my ankle and hurt it badly. I had to sit on the string cheeses in the cheese isle to stop feeling dizzy and nauseous and everything!
I was in tons of pain, had to be on crutches, and just generally feeling sorry for myself.
If the universe didn't want me to get in shape and lose weight, clearly it wasn't meant to be, right?
WRONG!!
On October 2 I threw my best friend a baby shower, and when she posted a picture of me on facebook it literally took my breath away. I was in SHOCK that that was really me!
I couldn't even muster up any of those 'it's a bad angle' or 'i'm just not photogenic' excuses we all get so good at when we don't want to admit we're fat.
I was FAT in all capitals fat.
It's the before picture of me in my gallery, actually.
It took me until mid February to put work stress aside and 100% commit to exercising and eating better, but I did lose 5lb between October and February...
Since mid February I have been a work out MACHINE.
I have only had pizza delivered ONCE and it was a veggie pizza (I used to order pizza at least twice a week)
I have lost an additional 23lb
I have lost 5 inches each from my ribs, waist, and spare tire
I have lost 4 inches from my hips
I have lost 2 inches from my neck
I have lost one inch from each bicep and thigh
I have learned to actually LIKE myself
My focus has shifted from weight and size to fitness
I have gone from struggling with 2lb weights to kicking ass with 8lb weights
I can do push ups
I don't have to stop for breaks during any of my fitness classes
And, I discovered today, even my ankles have gotten buff!!!
I am wearing platform dress sandals much like the ones I hurt myself in today. On my lunch I was looking for my keys while putting them on, and again rolled the same ankle to the outside.
I fell right on my butt, screamed, and sat there in complete terror.
It's amazing how fast our brains can work sometimes. Between my ankle moving and my butt hitting the ground I just KNEW I was going to be seriously hurt again, that I wasn't going to be able to use the gym like I want to, that I'd be on crutches for the concert I've been looking forward to for MONTHS this Saturday, that I'd gain all the weight back and then some and never get back to this positive place again.
But then I took a deep breath
And then I moved my foot around
And then I stood up
And took a few steps
I AM IN ABSOLUTELY NO PAIN
Once I got over my panic, I realized it didn't even hurt when it happened, even though it rolled just as far as when I hurt myself really badly.
I really believe that I'm okay because I've been working out so diligently and so hard, and that I'm going to be able to keep working out that way with no injuries because I HAVE been working out that way.
It really is the benefits we don't even think about that are the best!
Like buff ankles!!
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