Scale Induced Panic

So I have decided to for sure NOT set a weight loss goal of getting to ONEderland by Thanksgiving.

Or any scale-related weight loss goal EVER again.

Even just THINKING about MAYBE that being a possibility had me totally panicking this weekend.

Not like a surface, run around like a chicken with my head cut off, rock the boat type panic... One of those nasty, deep-down where you can't quite figure out what's going on type panics that just sort of undermined all of my positive thinking....

I was still thinking positively, but would do things like impulsively grab a whole hand full of mini chocolate peanut butter cups when they got passed around the game night table on Friday instead of 3-4 of them like I usually do... And then promptly scarfing them...



And ordering a Jamba Juice because I was there and they're delicious, even though I wasn't hungry.

And then buying a cookie in the mall because I'm "never at that mall anymore" and like that cookie store.

I didn't put it all together until last night, but I'm pretty sure the pressure of that timeline to ONEderland, whether a goal or a possibility, or WHATEVER, was just too much for me.

The scale is not my friend.



Although, to my credit, I feel like I did pretty awesome nutritionally at Outside Lands on Saturday. There was a farm stand!!! I got to eat YELLOW watermelon, and it was delicious. I did have 4 beers... but it was a special occasion! And the music was AMAZING, the Black Keys are even better live (much to my pleasant surprise) and I had a really great day with dear BF and my oldest brother where everything just seemed to go right - free parking near the park, great spot near the stage, caught all the bands I wanted to, was able to buy a cute festival t-shirt without an 'X' on the tag, didn't get sunburned, found healthy food, no traffic... Just great!

I walked through Choco-Lands because it was cute but did NOT buy the funnel cake topped with peanut butter, chocolate, chocolate covered bacon, and I forget what else that sounded like possibly the best festival food of all time.



Unfortunately the only option for dinner when driving home at 11:30 at night is fast food, but even there I think I did well. In CA they have to put calories up on the big board, so I got a grilled chicken sandwich and only ate a few of my curly fries, realized they were kinda grossing me out, and gave the rest to the boys.

So no scale goals for me!!!

I have, however, set a new goal that I find much more my style! I have the CUTEST corduroy flare pants that I bought just when I started gaining back all the weight I lost before. There are 3 pair (yay clearance!!) and all 3 are a size 12.

My goal is to be able to wear one of those pairs of cords by Christmas! That's 2 pant sizes down from where I am now in 4 months, so it will take a lot of work, but I really think I can do it!!